Every year we publish the most read articles on seraniti.com as a digest in case you missed it. In 2017 the following articles are most read by our clients, ranging from importance of self, to managing relationship challenges, and dealing with anger in children. Finally our clients were curious about online therapy and how to choose a therapist.
By Bhargavi Kerur
“Love rests on two pillars; surrender and autonomy. Our need for togetherness exists alongside our need for separateness. One does not exist without the other.”
– Esther Perel
Avira blamed herself for starting the fight little knowing the fact that her choice of words had a shadow of past for Anirudh. That morning Avira innocently told Anirudh to “pull up the socks” and complete the planned tasks for their upcoming vacation. He had exploded like a bomb at the mention of the phrase. He sulked for a couple of days which increased her feeling of misery. And she silently cried during the washroom visits.
Three years into married life, conflict between Avira and Anirudh are increasing. Sarcastic and contemptuous remarks and threats have become part of their everyday life. The couple blames each other, their families for the conflict between them.
Relationships are at the core of our existence as human beings. With the world bringing us together – closer and faster, yet causing us to become more distant; relationships in the 21st century have taken a complex turn. Emerging norms that are complex to understand, now govern almost all our relationships. These challenges are not only limited to couples but are also seen in parent-child relationships, relationships with in-laws and, between friends and colleagues.
Amidst all this, we sometimes need assistance to understand what a loved one seeks from the relationship, or how to resolve conflicts in a relationship or how to communicate to be better understood.
You are at the billing counter at a supermarket when your five-year old child tells you that she wants a particular toy. You say, “Next time.” She decides to express her disagreement by sitting down on the floor, wailing and thrashing. Or your seven-year old one has been trying to build a Lego structure but just cannot get it right. After some time he gets up, kicks what he had built and stomps off. It is a disconcerting moment of parenting when your child gets angry and throws a temper tantrum.
Here are seven tips to help your child manage his or her anger.
1. “It is okay to feel angry; it is smart to not say or do anything right away”
Let the child know that this feeling is called anger and it is normal. Everyone feels it from time to time. It’s not a bad thing to feel anger, it’s okay! However, sometimes when you say or do things when you are feeling like this you may end up hurting others or yourself or messing favourite things.
While there is research which validates that online therapy is as effective as face to face, we wanted to dig deeper into our own data and see what our clients prefer – online vs face to face sessions.
We look at our data for the last 1000 sessions and here is what we found:
66% preferred an video based online therapy session
19% preferred a telephone based therapy session
15% preferred a face to face in person session
Many of our clients come for one session in person and do the rest of the sessions online via our secure platform. Online is much more convenient and can be done from the comfort of house/office. This is also convenient for clients who are in smaller towns where they don’t have access to a therapist or don’t want to go to a clinic.
Making an informed decision while choosing a therapist
As there are no strict laws surrounding mental health care in India, it is up to you, as a client, to make sure you are getting the best treatment possible. Even if a therapist is excellent at his/her work, he/she may not be the best fit for you. Most people have to try a few therapists before they find one that’s a good fit for them. So don’t get discouraged! The right therapist for you is out there.
Educational Qualification – Most therapists have a Masters degree in Counselling or Clinical Psychology or Social Work. Some might have an M.Phil or PhD in Psychology or an MD in psychiatry. Even though most masters degrees are broad and cover a wide range of populations, some therapists have specialized experience in working with a particular population. Don’t hesitate to ask your therapist about their educational background and work history. As a client, you have a right to know.